Nikah(Marriage) is a divine constitution that binds two persons. A lawful marriage is a form of worship to god. It’s a sign of greatness of Allah that he created wives for us and established the constitution of marriage.
Marriage has innumerable advantages. It helps us control our desires and prevents us from doing unlawful acts. A lawful wedding brings intense amount of contentment and peace to our lives.
These are the 4 qualities of a woman / man that are being looked at these days while considering proposals
(In order of preference)
- FAMILY STATUS
- PIOUSNESS (Fear of Allah)
The first 3, wealth, family status and beauty are temporary.
It’s the only the PIOUSNESS or the religious inclination that makes woman or man a perfect soul mate. This is the most neglected aspect these days. Now the first question people ask is how much educated the girl/boy is, how much money does the guy make, what’s the family background, how much can be expected from the girl’s family etc. This thinking has corrupted our society. Marriages must be kept, simple, quick and affordable.
The following is a checklist rules to be followed during marriages
- Don’t delay marriages. Get married when you feel the time is right (before you start following your unlawful desires)
- If a proposal comes to your daughter or son and you find that the nature and religious inclination of that person is good, get married your daughter or son to that person. Don’t look for anything else.
- Look for Modesty and Purdah in a woman/man
- Knowledge of deen is very important, your children will become what their mother is.
- It is only the fear of Allah that makes a woman dutiful towards her husband and responsible towards her children
- It is only the fear of Allah that makes a man fulfill the rights of the woman.
- If you like a girl, Perform istikhaara namaaz before sending the proposal. Ask from Allah if the woman is right from you. If you get an indication from Allah and you feel your heart is inclined towards that girl, send the proposal.
- If there has been a proposal sent to the girl’s family and they are considering it. Do not send your proposal.
- Take permission from girl’s parents to look the girl (Father or Brother of the girl must be present when the guy looks at the girl).
- Have just ONE GLANCE towards her, return home and do istikhaara with a firm belief that the success of this marriage lies only in the hands of Allah
- It is not permissible to allow the couple to go out or to speak to each other to see whether they are compatible. This is a filth that we have adopted these days.
- NO NEED OF ENGAGEMENT AFTER THE PARENTS OF EITHER SIDE HAS APPROVED. JUST PERFORM THE WEDDING.
- Don’t wait for the arrival of aunts and uncles living in other countries or any such excuses that delays the wedding
When Allah intends that a girl and guy must get married, he places two main qualities between them. The first quality – LOVE.
Allah places Love between the two, right from the first glance.
But Allah’s system is such that a woman gains weight after a few children and she is no more as beautiful as she used to be. Even the man tends to get weary and is no more as handsome as he used to be. At that time, Allah places the second quality – MERCY (Rahmat) between the two.
The man thinks ” My wife has served me for so many years, she bore my children and took care of me when I was Ill. It’s OK, if she has changed a bit”
The woman thinks “My husband has fulfilled my needs all these years, he was always there when I needed him, who cares if he is not handsome anymore”
This is the time when we find real contentment between the husband and the wife
Before arranging for a marriage ask yourselves these questions
- Why have we made marriages a complicated and costly affair?
- Why are the huge meals and parties during weddings?
- Why are the pompous arrangement and jewelry shows?
- Why have adopted the music and dancing in our weddings
- Why are we taking loans to perform wedding?
- Why are we calling photographers and videographers to capture the wedding? Why are these photographers allowed to look directly at the girl, these photographers ask the girl to turn right, left etc. They put their hand in her chin to pull up her face? What kind of sick customs have we adopted? Where has our modesty and hijaab gone?
- Why are the weddings a chance of intermingling between men and women?
- Why are the marriages no more done in mosques?
- Why are we creating all this complications and making marriages so difficult?
Let’s protect our daughters and sons from TV/media influence that corrupts their thinking. We want our children to follow the commands of Allah. We want them to respect us when we are old.
Do you want them to follow the path of those who live ONLY for themselves?
We have stopped following the right way of performing marriages. That’s why there is no more contentment in our marriages now. That’s why there so many divorces and fights these days.
The Wedding which has the least expenditure has the most blessings.
A Good wife acts as a barrier when we go astray
If a man has a pious wife, he gets pleased every time he looks at her.
The best thing a man can ever have is a pious wife.
Pray for yourself a Pious Soulmate